DATING IN SOBRIETY

Let me tell you about dat shit. Ohhh, wait, there is nothing to tell. I was not ready to date anyone until the end of 2019. I have not dated anyone since my son’s father died on March 17, 2017. My list of what I want in a guy is Eeeeeee-normous and I’m perfectly OK with that. I signed up on Match not too long ago and I have found ZERO menz. The minute my spidey sense smells something funky, I’m fucking OUT. NOPE. #hardpass

Is it too much to ask that a guy (around “my age”) has some fucking hair???? Balding is a turn off. Now, notice I did not say “bald men” are a turn off. If you have hair and CHOOSE to shave it, that’s fine. It’s that receding hairline that makes my lip curl up…..NOPE. Ok, so you can’t help going bald….ok, fine, you’re just not the guy for me. And I might be eating my words on this one. The man of my dreams might have like 1 hair on his head and I’ll go ga-ga over him. That’s typical of the patterns of my life….always a crazy curve ball! God’s gotta keep my life interesting, yo!— and I’ll take it!

People that say, “I’m bored”, drive me insane. THEY are boring. I NEVER say I’m bored because I’m NEVER bored. STOP SAYING YOU’RE FUCKING BORED! It just makes you sound like a fucking LOSER, LOSER! I’m in a mood right now…..lol. Think I’m hangry. I digress…..Back to the guy sitcho. Yeah, I’m just looking for my Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves clone, so if anyone finds someone like that, shoot me a message……mmmmmkay? Great. Thank you!