IF YOU PICK UP THE PEANUT BUTTER, YOU’LL HAVE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT

When I lived in Atlanta, I would ride Marta to work. I worked downtown in a gorgeous building that overlooked Centennial Park— it was beautiful….so peaceful. Now, if you’ve never ridden Marta, it’s like Chicago’s L, but a smaller transit system— it’s a Subway. This was 14 years ago, so Marta (hopefully) has grown. Anyways, I’ve had my fair share of strange encounters with Marta’s finest, but this one dude sticks out in my head from all the rest. Here’s the story….

I was sitting in my Marta seat, just chilling…..going to work or coming home (I can’t remember)— and minding my own business. I noticed, what seemed to be a homeless guy, sitting parallel to me, but up a couple seats. We’ll call this guy “Charlie”. So, Charlie was fucking pissed about something and he proceeded to let EVERYONE on the train know about it. I was really trying my best to ignore him, but I had to look up. His eyes were super bloodshot; his teeth were all jacked up; his hair was long, stringy and greasy and his clothes were dingy and looked super stinky. Not too long ago, I totally could have been him. Who knows his story, but from his demeanor, I’d say drugs and alcohol were pretty fucking important to him. Charlie was going OFF! He was yelling about whatever and he was trying his damnedest to get a passenger sucked into his looney toon world/conversation. Most people were doing the same thing as I was— trying to ignore this fucker, but then…..IT HAPPENED. I noticed Charlie had a battered-up grocery bag filled with miscellaneous food items…..and one of them being a peanut butter jar. All of sudden, Charlie’s food bag dropped to the floor and all of his groceries go rolling down the isle. Omg…Charlie was pissed! He was scrambling to get all of his goodies and then I looked down at my feet. THERE IT WAS— THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR. Ohhhhh, fuck. I’m going to have to make eye contact with this dude now. Shit. Ok, so be it. I picked up his peanut butter and said something like, “Hey, here’s your peanut butter.” Charlie’s head spun around and he flashed his beady red eyes at me and reached over to collect his peanut butter jar. Ohhh, Lordt…..now I did it….I’ve made myself visible to this dude. Alls I remember was that Charlie became SUPER FIXATED on me and he wouldn’t stop talking AT ME. He wasn’t really looking for a conversation in the sense that he wanted me to participate— he just wanted to blast people with his crazy garble. Ugh…..oh, well. I couldn’t NOT give his peanut butter to him— I’m not a fucking dick. I have a couple other stories, too, but I’ll save those for another blog.

Ohhh, BTW….speaking of tweekers, I’m feeling like one myself— I’ve almost been up for a solid 48 hours. Yeah, I feel delirious. I’ve been up working on a design project. Oh well, it’s all good. I do what I’s got to do.

Also, Kahlua hadn’t been feeling the greatest lately— she got to feeling better a few days ago, but now she’s pooping and peeing on herself. It was 💯 my fault that she peed on herself early this morning — I don’t remember what time I let her out last night to go potty, but obviously it was too early because she had to go!!! Totally my fault. But earlier that day, she squatted right in front of me and started peeing!! Wha????? She hasn’t done that since she was 6 months old!! I normally let her out all the time, so I don’t know what’s up— hopefully she get to feeling better very soon. So, guess I’ll need to sleep on the couch downstairs for a little longer. And you know what’s ironic??— I took a nap today whilst Donnie was napping and when I woke up, I had a severe crick in my neck! I haven’t slept in my bed in like a month and now I get a stiff neck?? My bee is SUPER COMFORTABLE, do that’s why I don’t get it. Although, I cooks have slept weird on the pillows— or I maybe I didn’t move a centimeter during my nap due to insane exhaustion and that’s why my neck hurts.. It seems like my body is getting used to the couch. Ok, done talking about that. Love y’all! Hope you’re having a fab weekend!! 😘😘😘