GOOD CONVERSATIONS WITH GOOD PEOPLE

If I talk to you over the phone, know that you are special to me and I value you. I let VERY FEW people in my world because this is boy safe place— my home, my mind and my son are scared. I had a great conversation with one of my friends tonight— she’s bomb. I love talking depth and soul— and add some dark humor in there to keep us from not stabbing people with a fork (ok, maybe that’s just me).

We spoke about whether this world we live in is a matrix. At first, I was like, “I need proof.” But then I thought more about it and here’s what I said: “I believe whatever we want to believe is our reality. If you believe we live in a matrix, then you/we do. I believe that I live in a spiritual realm— one that’s multi-dimensional and full of endless possibilities. I believe my thoughts are just as powerful as my words and my actions, even more powerful. Everything I think; say; my daily habits; what I watch; what I don’t watch; what I eat or don’t eat; if I practice self care both mentally and physically; how I parent my child; how I AM. And nothing is set in stone— everything can change…..everything is malleable. It’s about your perception and you can change that at ANY TIME.

While I do enjoy my solitude, my journey does get a bit lonely sometimes. It’s my choice as to who I want to interact with and who I want in my life. I literally talk to maybe 5 friends— that includes my mom. I talk to my mom the most. My mom lives in MN, so she’s a bit far away— however, pre-Covid, she would fly out to see my son and me about every 2 to 3 months and then sometimes stay up to 2 months. My mom is a big part of my son’s life and I’m so grateful that she wants to be. Donnie loves his gram and the feeling is mutual.

Just feeling grateful, even though I have a bit of anxiety, but I also have this strong calmness about me. I’ve been DOING THE WORK, yo. I don’t expect ANYTHING to be handed to me— I fucking work my ass for it.

It’s not about what’s in your life, it’s about who’s in your life.