A LIL TURD SLIPPED OUT

I was bathing Donnie tonight and during his bath, he quickly stood up and told me he wanted to get out— LIKE NOW. The sense of urgency was almost a panic and Donnie’s eyes just about bugged out of his head!

And then, it happened. A lil turd 💩 slipped out of Donnie’s butt and plopped into the tub!! Dude! I was surprised, but not too surprised because I didn’t think he had a loop at daycare, so it was just a matter of time. And apparently, NOW was the time. I’d like to say that I calmly lifted him out and sat him on the potty, but I was kinda freaking out. See, his bath tub was FULL OF BUBBLES. Like SUPER FULL. Donnie was covered in bubbles and shit…..and then a generously sized turd 💩 was floating beneath the bubbles….like a submarine! Y’all, seriously, I’ve never cleaned up so much shit in my life. Between my pup, Kahlua and her recent diarrhea—- to Donnie’s poop parties.

Long story short, I got Donnie all cleaned up. Lordt, what a night. But wait!!— there’s more!! On Monday, Kahlua was feeling much better and I thought she was clear of the runs!! Yay!! Nope. I was wrong.—-sooooo fucking wrong. 😞😞😞 When I was working upstairs, I heard Kahlua whimpering downstairs. My gut instinct told me, “Shit, she pooped herself— I better go down there.” BUT, I didn’t!!— I waited for awhile!! And then, I saw it. Omg…..diarrhea 💩💩💩💩 covering the kitchen hardwoods!!! And Kahlua was covered in poop 💩, too!!! Fuck me!!!! I let Kahlua out to potty and whilst I was cleaning up the horrendous diarrhea, I heard a scraping noise against the floor. What the?? Fucking ROCKS!!! Kahlua pooped out probably about 12 small rocks!! She’s been noshing on them out on the front patio, but I was HOPING she wasn’t swallowing them!! Wrong, I was.

So, that is why she’s been so sick for the past 10 days!!— it’s because she ate about a pound of fucking rocks!!! Shit man, I just hope she passes all this rocks through her intestines successfully. Lordt!! Ouch!!!

So, I’m still sleeping downstairs on the couch to be with Kahlua because obviously, we are still not better yet. Dang! How do you make a dog stop eating rocks?? She’s eating the poop off of them— that’s why she’s swallowing them. I don’t think she truly WANTS to eat the rock— she just wants those poo crusties.

Ok, y’all. I’ve got to get to sleep.