I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WATCH THIS
I absolutely cannot watch movies that involve children getting hurt or killed— it literally makes me sick to my stomach. I now understand why my parents (especially my mom) used to get so worried when I didn’t come home for curfew— this was when I was in high school. Because they thought that I could be fucking DEAD!!!! I totally get that now!!— now that I’m a parent! Omg…..because it’s totally 100% possible! Many kids fucking DON’T come home. Fuck, man….I pray to God that Donnie doesn’t do at of the stupid and crazy shit that I did. It’s scary being a parent. I just want to put Donnie in a protective bubble for the rest of his life. Either that, or we’ll move to a private island— buy the fucking island. Both scenarios seem absolutely reasonable and plausible.
The movie I was watching was that Boston marathon bombing movie with Mark Wahlberg. decided to watch it mainly because of sexy Mark. Don’t watch it— you’ll regret it. I had to turn it off— I just couldn’t handle it. Ok, let’s stop talking about that fucking movie.
And then I ate 2 bags of popcorn and some granola with raisins— eating my feelings much??? Ugh…..I really need to get some food. My plan is to go to Costco this week when Donnie is at daycare.
No nap for Donnie today— we pushed through that. I got him up late (in the morning), so when that happens, I skip his nap and put him to bed early. Donnie was in bed by 6pm. I was stressed today— a bit bitchy. I snapped at Donnie after I got him out of the tub. Donnie was fighting me while I tried to put on his jammie top….and I just got irritated. I really do have an enormous amount of patience these days….which is crazy to me because I used to consider myself an impatient person. Very cool how things can change! It’s like you know when your child just pushes and pushes and pushes you to the very, very, very edge???— well, that’s what happened. I apologized to Donnie for me being cranky and hugged him and told him I loved him. I think he knows when I’m at my emotional breaking point. Sometimes he really does give me a break when he sees how bleary-eyed I am.
It’s fucking hard being a parent. Wait, let me rephrase that— it’s fucking hard being a GOOD parent. Shitty parents don’t give a fuck, so they don’t count. When you’re a good parent, you’ll be completely and utterly physically and emotionally exhausted. Yep! That’s me! We were watching Boss Baby earlier today and I slithered over to the couch and told Donnie that I, “just needed to rest.” It’s like he totally understood!!— which is amazing!! I’d fall asleep for a few minutes, then open my eyes to check on him. He was just playing with his toys and being such a good boy!! Omg….I literally never rest on the couch like that with him. I did that one other time and it was because I was sick.
Ok, well, I’m going to rest on the couch for a minute or dick around more on my phone!!— maybe both!! Chill Saturday nights are the fucking best!!!