“ON MARCH 17, 2017 AT 11:11PM, I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD (MY SON, DONNIE).
AND ON THAT SAME NIGHT, AT 9:50PM, MY SON’S FATHER DIED FROM A FENTANYL OVERDOSE.”
My beautiful son, Donnie Aiden Williams—- born on November 9, 2017 at 11:37am.
So glad you asked. You just have to change one thing….EVERYTHING.
Yeah, tall order, huh? But what’s harder?— staying the same and living a shit drunk life OR CHANGING and giving yourself a fucking chance— a chance to actually ENJOY life and live a life of sobriety. That can be a hard choice for us alcoholics. Change is a bitch, but staying the same is MUCH bitchier.
So, welcome….welcome to SOBERMOMLIFE. This is where shit gets real. And I’m so glad you’re here. My name is Michelle and I’m an alcoholic.
Sobriety
Life as a sober mom
Getting sober
How to stay sober
How to deal with life’s ups and downs WITHOUT getting drunk over it
Mental health
Dealing with family
And tons of other cool stuff
Getting sober is fucking hard. Staying sober can be challenging at times too, but it’s worth it. This is NOT my first rodeo. My current sobriety date is October 8, 2016. Relapse is a part of my story; however, it does NOT have to be a part of yours— everyone is different and there is NO set path that everyone has to follow. YOU DO YOU. Whatever works to keep you sober, you keep on doing that.
Tonight, my son wanted to tell his gram that he misses his dad. Donnie’s gram (my mom) has been staying with us for the past week. She flew in last Thursday from Minneapolis for Donnie’s 4th birthday (November 9, 2021)— she’s flying back to MN on 11/11. And then Donnie wanted me to come with him to gram’s bedroom, so he could tell her (with me by his side for extra encouragement/support). ❤️❤️❤️ Donnie stopped at gram’s bedroom doorway and said to her, “Gram, I miss my dad.”
Gram responded with, “Oh, I’m sorry, can I give you a hug? Can I hug you?”
Donnie kept shaking his head NO.
He did not want to hug her.
He just wanted to tell her how he felt.
And I thought 2 weeks ago was bad. Ohhhhhh, fuck no. TODAY took the cake—- the big, horrible FUCK YOU CAKE. I was the most horrible person today to my son and I feel like complete SHIT. COMPLETE SHIT. You know when you’re being a dick and you say one shitty, snide comment and then you just don’t want to stop because you’re so mad???? Well, that’s kinda how it went down today. I mean DOOOOOWN. I turned off my phone all day because I felt so guilty about how I acted.
I’m writing because it’s the only thing I have energy for— and I barely have enough energy to write. Nobody told me it was going to be like this. I’m not complaining— I’m just telling you where I’m at. I’ve been breastfeeding my son for 3 years and 7 months and nobody prepared me for how my body would respond when I stopped breastfeeding— how could they? I didn’t even know the questions to ask…….
I don’t do traditional— that’s not my style. I do REAL LIFE. I teach my son that
GOD IS REAL
ENERGY NEVER DIES
LOVE NEVER DIES
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
LIFE IS MULTIDIMENSIONAL
IT’S OK TO HAVE FEELINGS— and that I’ll always be his safe place.
IT’S ABOUT MAKING MY SOBRIETY A TOP PRIORITY. IT’S ABOUT TAKING FUCKING ACTION. So, tonight I went to an online zoom AA meeting— I had to— I needed to— I was sooo fucking irritated today. I did not want to continue being an asshole to my son. I’m just burnt the fuck out. I’m going to bed waaaaay too late, then I’m utterly exhausted when I wake up early the next morning. Yes, I KNOW I need to go to bed earlier…..BUT I want some downtime for myself. I want time to dick around on my
‼️I said EXACTLY THIS on Thursday, 11/26/20 (Thanksgiving).‼️
That shut them up real quick. Don’t fucking label my son.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong if my child does not want to talk to you. I’m HAPPY and PROUD that my son is hesitant to talk to “strangers”— that means he’s less likely to follow them inside a white van.
Seriously. Fucking stop it.
‼️ I think being selective in who
Earlier this evening I left a FB group I had recently joined. I did not like a post the Admin of the group posted— basically, she was making fun of people who believed in Jesus. She calls herself a witch— which is fine with me, but if you have a high-vibe group, IMO, it’s not very high-vibe to be dissing others’ beliefs. Just leave it alone. I like her, as a person….I just did not get a warm fuzzy feeling from her post. See, this morning, I posted a post in that group and I mentioned God. I believe
This applies to everyone…..single moms; moms that are either married or in a committed relationship; dads; grandparents; aunts; uncles……whatever you’d like to call yourself. I’m a mom— A FULL-TIME MOM. AND I’M A PROFESSIONAL. I’m a Designer, Writer and a licensed Mortgage Loan Officer. I fucking do it ALL, baby. And doing “it all” sometimes leaves me absolutely fucking depleted. Here’s the deal—
On Friday, I was at my son’s daycare, waiting to pick him up. Whilst practicing my 6 ft social distancing, I stood back behind the check-in front gate and that’s when I overheard THIS CONVERSATION between a son and his mom. Her son sadly said, “It was Halloween costume day!” And his mom quickly replied, “I didn’t know.”
Wow. That hurt! She just completely dismissed him. Didn’t know?? Jesus, there were signs plastered EVERYWHERE!! Slacker mom. Poor kid. Yeah, she had
“I don’t know how you do it.” — I can’t tell you how many times people have said this to me. You know how I do it?— I think of my son and what he needs to have a beautiful, great life. Everything I do, I do it for Donnie. Donnie inspires me to be my best self— how cool is that? 🖤 Had to take a break there— Kahlua just peed on the carpet!! Wtf?? When I let her out to
