IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU'LL MAKE TIME FOR IT

IT’S ABOUT MAKING MY SOBRIETY A TOP PRIORITY. IT’S ABOUT TAKING FUCKING ACTION. So, tonight I went to an online zoom AA meeting— I had to— I needed to— I was sooo fucking irritated today. I did not want to continue being an asshole to my son. I’m just burnt the fuck out. I’m going to bed waaaaay too late, then I’m utterly exhausted when I wake up early the next morning. Yes, I KNOW I need to go to bed earlier…..BUT I want some downtime for myself. I want time to dick around on my

THE UNIVERSE MIRRORS YOUR BELIEFS

I just finished watching a documentary about The Law of Attraction. And I thought I knew what it was, but I learned some interesting stuff tonight. The Universe mirrors our beliefs about ourselves. So, if I feel unworthy or that I don’t deserve a good paying career; love; peace or happiness— then guess what??— that’s EXACTLY what I’ll get. It was pretty recently when I’ve truly stepped into my own power and TRULY believed that I’m worthy of ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE. I’m worthy of making good money; I’m worthy of love; I’m worthy of being loved— I’m a damn awesome mom to my son; I’m fucking creative as shit and I’m fucking hilarious. Seriously, I’ve really just said a big

PROTECT YOUR SPACE

It doesn’t matter who the fuck they are— PROTECT YOUR SPACE. PERIODT. Because ain’t nobody gonna do that shit for you. You are responsible for your fine ass. I will not tolerate victim mentality from anyone. I will not allow myself to be manipulated anymore. The guilt trip thing doesn’t work anymore— yeah, it sometimes rattled my cage, but I don’t let it consume me.

IT’S MEME TIME

I decided to write my own memes. It’s fun and scary— I love to write, but I’m also scared that some of my memes will “flop”. And guess what?? That’s a part of the process— for EVERYTHING in life. You try; you do well; you don’t do so well; you fall down; you get back up; you succeed! Everything is a process and we must go through it to get to that SWEET SPOT. So, sure, some memes will flop, but some (hopefully most!!) will do great! And I’ve got a lot of positive responses from them so far! I just started posting my original memes today!

That bullshit thought in my head is

ENERGY IS CONTAGIOUS

I’ve been in a good mood today….and guess who else is???— yep, Donnie is happy, too! I’m tellin’ ya— I took care of myself today emotionally and physically— and it FUCKING SHOWS!! Today was the first day in 3 weeks that I didn’t feel sick (well, my sinuses are always fucked, but I didn’t feel sick sick….like having a cold sick) and I didn’t have to run a million errands or clean like a maniac — and the big thing is that Kahlua is feeling better!!! I’m sooooo relieved!! She’s still having a little diarrhea, but if I’d stop feeding her little pieces of chicken, maybe she’d stop 💩💩💩. Logically, I’m aware that dogs can go several days without food, but emotionally, I can’t stand to NOT FEED HER ANYTHING FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS! Ugh…..I don’t want her to get too weak! I’m going to continue sleeping on the couch downstairs to be with her until she feels 💯% better. I’ve still got her gated off in the kitchen because I’m OVER cleaning up 💩 on the rugs. So, super great news about Kahlua! I’m EXTREMELY happy!!

Here’s the update on the water and dipe sitcho with Donnie at daycare:

SHOWING UP AND HOLDING YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE EVEN IF THE SHIT HITS THE FAN (LITERALLY)

I don’t FEEL like writing tonight, but guess what?—- I am because I made a commitment to myself (and to you) to write daily blogs. I’ve LITERALLY had a very shitty day. My pup, Kahlua, is sick. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with her. She’s having TONS of mucus-covered diarrhea……I know, sounds DELISH, huh? The shit storm started bright and early at 6am and Kahlua diarrhead all over herself, the hardwood floor in the kitchen and ALL over the blue rug in the living room. Cleaning and scrubbing up diarrhea is NOT fun. My pup will be 16-years old this Halloween (10/31/20) and I’m very worried about her. I don’t want to write too much of my fear here because I don’t want to conjure anything and have my fears come true. I was JUST writing about that yesterday…….shit, it could have been today…….who knows…..my brain is covered in poo today. I was telling a friend that even my

I'M SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE A HEALTHY CHILD

I’m so grateful to have such a healthy child. Donnie hardly ever gets sick and if he does get a bug, it’s literally gone in 1.5 days! Donnie will be 3-years old on November 9, 2020 and he’s had a fever like twice in his life! Donnie got a tiny bug at daycare 2 weeks ago (just runny nose and a tiny, sporadic cough) and I caught it from him a few days later. Shit, man, I’m STILL fucking sick!!! Lol— goin’ on day 8 now. Ugh…..well, I have a severely chronic bacterial sinus infection that’s been a stage 4 clinger for the past 4 fucking years. Whenever I get the slightest bug, my sinuses flare up (even more than they are “normally”) and I’m down for the count for like 2 weeks. It fucking sucks. That’s why I like quarantine so much— I don’t see fucking ANYONE and I’m perfectly content. Ahhhhh, isolation, I love you.

I digress…..back to me being grateful for my son’s pristine health. I was scrolling through

RABBIT HOLES AND WHATNOT

So, Donnie has been going to daycare for the past 2 weeks— he’s been going 3 days a week right now. My fucking PLAN was to spend most of this “free time” (there’s no free time when you’re a single mom, btw) looking for a Mortgage Loan Officer job and guess what???— that hasn’t happened because I’ve been sick all this week. I’m just feeling frustrated because I have so much stuff to do in a short amount of time— meaning getting all my shit done whilst Donnie is in daycare. Dude, I could give you a ton of examples of all the shit I have to do, but I’ll spare you the drama! lol I guess I just need a hug!!! Awwww! lol Seriously, though…..a hug from a person I love (other than my son) would be nice right about now.

LEARNING TO REST WHEN SICK

Dude, I’m sick. I’m not like sick sick, barfing, diarrhea sick— I have a sore throat, congestion, headache, super tired (not new!! Lol) and a bit achey. Donnie caught

WHAT DOES SELF-CARE LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

Self-care can mean a lot of things to me. For instance, I chose to snack on a bowl of granola cereal instead of inhaling a HUGE Costco pumpkin-strudel muffin— that right there is damn self-care. Btw…..ALL 12 of those delicious muffins were supposed to go to Donnie’s teachers/Directors at his daycare tomorrow. Well, that was the fucking PLAN, untiI